1. Disney did me wrong. I'm nineteen years old, and while I love my boyfriend, I'm still telling myself he'll turn into a prince. Actually, scratch that - I don't even want a prince.
2. I stressed and stressed over my first kiss. Looking back, I really wish I could take it back and wait about a year or two for a much better kisser than any of my first were. Not to mention just a better person in general. Ahh, the things we don't see at that age...
3. I've always taken pictures of everything, and still do. I've actually been told the opposite - that I don't need to take so many pictures. However, I'm sticking to it. Those are my memories, my life.
4. I always had bad luck with friends. My best friend in second grade not only stopped being my friend and took away any chance I had of having any friends, but made things that way until the fifth grade. Friends I made then weren't even good friends. Seventh grade was when I met my current boyfriend, who was my best friend then. When I got to highschool and made a new best friend, another military girl also from Georgia actually, she not only stopped being my friend, but made my life hell to the point where I couldn't go to school or get on the computer. I forgave her, and she did it again. Forgave the girl from second grade who became my best friend again, only for her to desert me after having Caiven. I've recently forgiven her again, but I'm not trying to be best friends with her or anyone. I have my boyfriend and my son. I need nothing else.
5. I always did exceptionally well in art, and was one of those kids that doodled all over their notes. Now, I don't mean I was one of those girls that wrote a boys name a million different ways or even my own, I actually drew things. I'll have to look through some boxes and find a few that I kept now. Back to the point though...I stopped "making art" in highschool. Teachers complained, even though my grades were all As until I stopped drawing actually, and people looked at me funny for always drawing. I was a new kid from a small town in Georgia thrown into a huge school in Massachusettes. I had enough to worry about. Now, I can't draw for shit. The most art I've got to show from the past few years is a wall painting I did at a salon my friend's mom opened up when I was pregnant.
6. I never took relationships seriously until my sophomore year. Best friends for almost a year, dated for almost a year, and then couldn't leave each other alone or stop trying to piss each other off for another few months. Thus came Caiven, and now I'm only in my second relationship that I've ever taken seriously. This one's a keeper.
7. Seventh grade didn't really suck for me. First year in a school of not just military kids, had friends, ect. I have my bad memories of course, and I looked really awkward, and I had a good friend I grew up with pass away that year and wasn't even able to attend his funeral because of one incredibly mean teacher, but all in all, seventh grade topped elementary school by far.
8. This is the main thing I wish I would have listened to people about. I've constantly stressed about these things, and I didn't know how to handle all the horrible feelings that go with stressing so much over it, not to mention from all the other things that were going on. Struggled with anorexia and cutting for a long time. My weight and looks, especially after having Caiven, are still something that I struggle with. I am who I am and having Caiven means more to me than having the body a nineteen year old girl should have though, so I try to rise above it. Don't hide my body from my boyfriend anymore, and don't even wear a shirt over my bathing suit at the public pool. I'm more confident now than I ever have been.
9. I was always friends with really beautiful, skinny girls. They should have had the most confidence. I had a hard time finding flaws in their looks, and could have never found as many in them as I found daily in myself. Yet, they found them within themselves. I learned early on that even the most popular, prettiest, skinniest, funniest, most outgoing girls had their own confidence issues. Guys a lot of times had/have more issues than girls, too. Girls should never feel like a guy is superior to them. They're bigger babies than we ever thought of being.
10. With every year that passes, I look back on previous years and laugh. I think I actually laugh harder as time goes on.
Life is a funny thing. It may seem like hell at times, but you only get one so don't spend it living to please everyone else. As long as you're the best you can be, make your life what you want, do what makes you happy, ect...you'll find people that are pleased without you even having to try. Just live, be thankful for the life you've been given, and make the most of it, as cliche as that sounds.
that was awesome, and deff couldnt have said it better (i am 19 also, i dont have any kids but dealt with a lot of that stuff)
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